~*~* June*~*~

I am feeling a little color to this one... I have gotten Hailee's birthday party out of the way and she is an offical 10 yr old... goodness really I am feeling a bit on the older side having a pre teen now and actually she acts more like a teenager then her actual age which could make things a little hard but for the most part she is a great child and helps me with all kinds of things, yes I guess at times it is with a grudge but for the most part she is a big help to me... It is summer break for her and she is a little on the bored side already but not to bad.. we will see as the days go on I guess.  It was a very crazy month last month, a lot of things happened that I am not sure to really get it involved here or even talk about them, I am not wanting to make anyone upset at me so yeah I guess it is better that I dont talk about them here and besides I never know who reads this and will tell certain people that I have posted something bad.. oh well it is ok I guess anyway as summer moves on and I kinda am as well I dont know how anything will turn out for me I am pretty stressed about things right now and worried that I am not providing enough for Hailee... it just seems like everytime I thought things were going to be ok they turn into crap and find myself falling backwards again, all I want and am trying to do is get ahead and be a good roll model for Hailee, we will see how things turn out for sure I guess.... my medical is not the greatest at the moment and stress.... yes I have a lot of that, I am taking new medication and I dont know as if it is working like the doctor wants it to work but I am trying it for now and we will see what it holds for me... I am taking walks as often as possible to try and get something done with this weight but that dont seem to be doing well either.... I guess I was born to be fat and either I have to find someone that wants a fat person or I be alone and you know since I am not looking for anyone I guess the being alone and being fat is ok with me I dont know what else to do about my weight, I have been trying everything and nothing seems to be helping at all... UGH soooo irratating!!   Ok I guess that is enough for now...

Life

I haven't been here for a few months... Life is crazy and gets control of me.  I am currently planning for Hailee's  10th birthday... I cant believe she will be 10 in a week... boy how time flies...  I am living in my own place and making everything work, yes of course I struggle but who don't? I pay my bills and have food in our mouths so that is all that matters... I am very blessed and greatful to have the things I have in life right now even though it tends to be out of control and gets the best of me at times but over all it is good.  I would also like to thank all my family and friends that I have and have done nothing but  support me in all that has been going on, without all your support I wouldnt be where I am today... I love you all very much, please know that each of you have a special place in my heart.. last but not least I would like to tell my daughter how much I love her and how much she means to me, Hailee, you are a wonderful person, without you in my life I wouldnt know where I would be and how my life would have turned out, I am thinkful that I was able to not only be a mom but to me your mom! you bring me so much pride and joy everyday and I cant thank you enough for it all.